I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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