the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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