booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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