one two three fourrrrnication!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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