At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
