i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
