They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
