Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
