Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
