im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
