Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
