he shaved USA in his pubs
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
