are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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