ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
