Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
