y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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