operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
