Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
