Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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