I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
