there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
