I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
