dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
