I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
