Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
