He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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