So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
