I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
