my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
