She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Let's get the cat blown out
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
