Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
