so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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