So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love having hate sex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
