Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this will be a night to untag.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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