I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
