pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
