yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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