So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
