STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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