He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
