you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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