2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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