He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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