So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize