I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
