Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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