I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
