Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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