I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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