I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
