So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
