It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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