i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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