I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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