3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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