Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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