The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
