have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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