Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
